Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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