you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
