thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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