dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
