Porn is love you can see.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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