he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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