It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
