And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
