I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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