I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
