the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
