theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
