Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
