mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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