yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
