so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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