mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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