Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
