You're so nebulous sometimes
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
false alarm. still invincible.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
