just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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