Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
