I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
