So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
