Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
