I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
