I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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