May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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