I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I would ride that face into the sunset
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