And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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