By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
