thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
