i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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