so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
