He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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