Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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