i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
