No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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