so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
