It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
