i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
