I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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