I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
