Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
