"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
