I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
