nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
