Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
