Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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