this beer tastes like vomit already
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
