weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
