I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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