2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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