I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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