8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone came in the potted fern
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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